Originally Posted by
alcoholics wife 
My AH when drunk would be the fun life of the party, he made friends quickly, everyone liked him, he was funny, sociable, warm, cheerful, embraced everyone with warm hugs, enjoyed cooking, hiking, sports, really any activity suggested he was game...only rule was that his liquor goes with him everywhere he went.
Who once was an extrovert is now an introvert. Movies, reading, playing vids have become the norm for him. He doesn't easily make friends, not as sociable anymore. He's retreating back to the way he was prior to picking up that first sip of liquor. I need to get readjusted to the new him. He needs to get reacquainted with the old him.
I think it's interesting that we (I--I'll speak for myself) can latch on to an alcoholic's identity, to their detriment. One of my sons once commented, "When Dad drinks, he has a short period of time when he's 'happy, fun Dad' but then if he drinks too much, he's 'mean Dad.'"
Another son asks me regularly if his father is drinking--and if he is not, is he "somber?" In other words, is he fun to be around?
How difficult must it be for an alcoholic whose identity is based on fun, but who find it impossible to be 'fun' without alcohol? Expecting them to "dance" with the gun pointed at their feet is our own way of objectifying them. I think I'm guilty of that.