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Old 07-21-2016, 05:05 PM
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BeachPlease
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Getting over embarrassment of enabling

I knew my husband was an A when we married 2 years ago (together since 09). I thought I could deal with it. Either I'm waking up from denial or he's gotten even more lazy or both. I've asked him to help me more than once & he promises he will. It never pans out. He won't do more unless it's required.

He ignores needed home maintenance and only works 2 days a week now. There's no sense of urgency and the bills are snowballing.

I'm not financially ready to leave. Right now I'm trying to get organized for when the time comes.

I'm working OT, juggling bills, cleaning, cheerleading mediocrity, arranging repairs, having sex with him. Been living in reactive mode for a while & I know I deserve better.

I practice self care and am reading Codependent No More. It's been a huge help. Besides all that, I feel lonely even though I know I'm not alone. I have major trust issues so nobody knows the whole situation. They know bits of it.

How did some of you lovely folks get over the shame that accompanies being the mate of an A?

Or also how did some of you fare after finally leaving your spouse/gf/bf?
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