I agree with scott alcohol is a depressent etc..
Lifes a piece of crap but it doesnt have to be that way. The one thing you can count on is life being life. But you dont have to feel the way that you do. All this stuff you feel bad about all these thoughts you have about this and that is just that and thats all that it is. You dont have to latch on ot it and allow it to define you. You dont have to stew in your own poo etc...You dont have to let it fester and such. Being in a funk and a pit stinks been there done that I still fall in once in a while but I dont like to stay there.
I agree call a suicide hotline if its this dire. Other wise go out for a walk enjoy the sunshine dont stay in this mind set thats not going to do you any good.
I cant imagine you like feeling how you do now?