Originally Posted by
Corse 
The difference is , i don't have any pressure. Maybe I'm just ******* stupid . I dropped out of school when i was 14, I've been drinking for 6 years , my parents don't give a **** . My sisters are all happily married and far away from me . Maybe i just feel very alone. Whatever it is, thanks for the replies everybody : )
It could also be that your drinking is causing most/all of your problems. Alchohol is a depressant, so if you are depressed to begin with drinking makes it even worse.
I'd still suggest you see a therapist or counselor, even if they do suggest you go into a treatment program of some kind would that be the worst thing in the world? You'd be with people who are solely concerned with your well being and helping you to get out from under your addiction.
And Id' re-iterate - if you are actually feeling suicidal please seek immediate help.