I really sincerely want to thank you all for reading and/or responding to my post. I am so impressed with those of you who have the courage to come here, post your stories, and even take some time to help others around. You are doing great things and I admire you all.
It's definitely been a whirlpool for 10 years and it hasn't been a smooth road. Patches of normalcy and unsuspected chaos. However when I noticed that we were having more frequent and severe incidents lately, and I knew the disease sometimes escalates and gets worse, I knew I had to do this for the both of us.
I'll tell you what's funny -- Over the years she and I have seen so much of alcoholism in the media. We watched "Flight" and "Smashed" together. She loved to watch intervention every week (though she said it was to see people that were worsely addicted than her to make her feel better about herself). I'm not sure how seeing such devastating portrayals of alcoholism (real and staged) doesn't ring any bells, but I guess it just doesn't work that way. If me asking her to stop is seen as controlling, how can you expect a movie or a TV show to have any different effect?
I'm trying hard not to think about what she's up to, I feel that the separation and the new home and the move has been hard on her, and that she has used alcohol to help with that process, though she did state that she intended to quit drinking after she "settled in" and has said to me twice in under a week that she just "wants to stop". I just don't know if she knows how or is really ready to get off the roller coaster yet.
The optimist in me hopes she's sobering up and has been for days or more. The realist in me knows that nothing is probably changing with the space to do as she pleases without judgement, coupled with the stresses of a new life.
Thanks again for reading and replying, it really means a lot to me to hear your points of view.