Vandermast

Hi there

Just writing as I feel I need to....
Alcoholism for me has taken huge chunks out of my life
Cost me self respect jobs financial security dignity friendships and much more
Yet my head can still need want and obsess over a drink in the sense that it will make everything ok.....
I attend aa a counsellor and am on medication have just started mma and I love cycling I just received a substantial amount of money that will help me exist comfortably for a few months whilst I get my recovery set in concrete yet my head can still entertain the idea of a drink and as stated that it will solve all my problems make me feel whole and fill the hole in my soul.

I went to a meeting recently and a lady shared that her disease is a seductive blond in a red dress whispering sweet nothings

This I can understand

The voice of destruction pain misery torment and alcoholic hell comes masked as a beautiful lotus flower

But it's as venomous and deadly as a rattle snake

I am glad that I am able to with help and quiet reflection discern the true nature of its voice

If it was a person of flesh and bone I would have slit it's throat and buried it in a shallow grave a long time ago

Yet it lives in me waiting

But I am growing in strength and power

My power is fuelled by love peace and faith

Darkness fades in the light

V