So much wisdom in this thread. Thank you everyone.
In particular about lying and altering the truth to make things appear worse than they are. To manipulate and get sympathy.
Oh my, so so so so true. How many times have I been hooked in by that nonsense?
I see it now, so clearly. Comes across as pathetic rather than triggering.
It was about me, never "them". About me and how I felt about myself. I kept picking out the same person to have relationships with. The same traits but just a different outward appearance each time.
A queue of "thems" doing the same old thing, me eagerly rushing over to get myself hooked in.
I was where you are, HopeLove, it gets better I assure you. Work on yourself.