I resonate with this post as well. So many times, I've asked myself 'how could he say that to me? How could he do that to me? How could he not see how wrong that was or how I would feel about that?' I used to think he just didn't care. About me or the relationship. But I'm beginning to realize more and more, it was never about me. Sure, he wants to shift blame that way and may even apologize once in a while, but it's NOT me.
The best thing I did was walk away as hard as it was and still caring so much about him. I don't want to hate him, but it was starting to go that way and I can't hold onto hate in my heart. That's just not me.
Hugs to you.