behindblueyes

I have a daughter. My ex and I are both alcoholics. He will not admit it but he has a DUI from hitting a parked car drunk, he left me to drink and so on.

As you can see from my posts, I admit it.

Tonight, my daughter and I were trying to sleep. There were a lot of fireworks going off. They were so bad that we couldn't sleep so I told her we could go outside for a few minutes.

We found a party, in the middle of the street, at 9pm. She saw everyone she knew from school. I was ok with it. I didnt see alcohol.

Within 10 minutes the police showed up and said no more. I saw the cop car first (why is that) I was ok with it because there were kids all around. The cops left.

One guy said "Hey you dont have to leave come on have a beer!"

I said the dumbest thing and said, thanks, but I have to walk my daughter home. Which was really only 20 steps.

However, when we left, she said, "Hey mom I guess you dont have that disease anymore that they talk about on TV"

I walked past the house and made her keep talking and she said that I had a disease where I couldnt stop what I am doing and I need to go to a hospital but I am ok now right?

I explained that alcohol makes you want more alcohol. And if you don't get more alcohol it make you throw up and shake. And sometimes you need more alcohol. Which makes it all worse. But how do I explain some is ok. To a 10 year old?

I hope she understands it. We walked another 5 miles tonite. I hope she doesn't end up like me. We kept walking and I just thought about how I wanted it to be like this forever. Before she gets into the alcohol...