What exactly is it you'd ask of the forum then Sleepie? You've been accepted, validated, loved, and people have literally spend hundreds, probably thousands of hours giving you encouragement and very solid advice. You've also just learned that the major problem you thought was holding you back does not actually exist.
I know you don't like absolutes, and I know you don't like my advice. But honestly, what can anyone do here that they haven't already that will get you to take the action you really need to in order to start getting better?
No one is going to agree with you that you are doomed or that you should just give up. Too many people here have overcome the same or even worse for that to happen. We ALL want you to get better, but only YOU can do it.