It is all about self honesty really. Some people need drugs to function for genuine medical reasons, and use of them is never a bar to recovery.
Others pull con jobs on their doctors to get prescriptions. Alcoholics (active ones) are notorious for deceiving their doctors and in today's busy world it is so easy to get a prescription.
It might have to do also with the chosen recovery method. Fear of all kinds is a chracteristic of early recovery as is self pity. They can easily be confused with anxiety and depression.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers. I live a spiritual recovery program and it was through prayer and action that my fears were removed. I heard a woman talk about this at a meeting recently. She was six month sober and had just come off anti depressants for the sake of her pregnancy. She said she had not been straight with her doctor, and was trying to medicate her way to sobriety. It felt ok during the time, but when she stopped she egan to feel all the crap that she should have felt, and dealt with at the start.
Recovery from alcoholism is not a comfortable process. Her view was that all she did was postpone the pain, not avoid it all together. She has a great recovery now, but I guess she could have chosen to keep medicating and would have had a second rate numbed out kind of recovery as a result, supressing symptoms rather than treating causes.
You are very lucky not to like those drugs you tried. I had another friend, a woman in ther thirties who I heard just passed away. She was sober, had surgery, a painkiller that had a bonus "I like that!" feeling to which she became addicted. To get her of that they put her on Benzos and they could not get her of those.
Taking medication unnecessarily adds a huge amount of risk to recovery. However, failing to follow a doctor's directions for the treatment of a genuine illness is also very dangerous.
In the end you must decide for yourself what your motives are in how you deal with your doctor. I know I could go to mine today and get an arm load of prescriptions. I know just what to say and I know he does not have the time to talk to me properly about my concerns.