My AV was strong lastnight
As I was trying to go to sleep lastnight I kept thinking how when I was pregnant I was able to have just one drink (only a few times throughout the 8 months after I found out). And so lastnight I was trying to convince myself once again that I can do moderation. Pregnancy was the only time in my life I wasn't a problem drinker and I was happy with one glass of wine. Surprisingly, I really had zero desire for alcohol while I was pregnant. So lastnight I started kind of making deals with myself.. 3 months sobriety for one glass of wine (ok maybe two-but that's it (but really who am I kidding? I don't want just one or two!)).. I realize this is flawed thinking and I'm disappointed in myself for thinking like this again. I think I'm having strong cravings right now and discouraged that I can never drink again. I know I should think in terms of 24 hours but I think I feel sad about it. This is my Day 6. I just wanted to tell someone. I can't go to any meetings because I have a baby and no one to watch her - I've never actually ever been to a meeting. Thanks for reading.