Ach-If I could count up all the times I basically screwed up or just fallen way short of my OWN expectations for myself. What has not helped at times is feeling PRESSURED by others to 'measure up'....
But: I reached a point where I realized that trying to 'measure up' was robbing me of peace and JOY. *shrug*. I remember getting off work one very stressful taxing night and thinking, "Scr_w it, I did my best and if my best is not good enough, oh well." (there is only so much I can do). I realized, though, that I was WAY harder on myself than others were on me and that I needed to find a way to lighten up or all the JOY in life was going to forever evade me.
What is life without joy?! There are plenty of slave drivers on the planet, I don't need to b e one too. I'm not saying be a total slacker, but all work and no play is not how the Man designed it.
As to getting sucked in: Some people can be very persuasive, huh? Try not to beat yourself up about that. We've all been there likely. What happens too though is I sware to God there are some the seem to prey on your weaknesses or what were your weaknesses at that particular time. And, they may not even do that intentionally...You and that woman both had a weakness and a common bond....therefore were ripe for picking...which is why they say "No new relationships" for the first year. Easier said than done though. We all want love and belonging, especially when giving up the "comfort" of our drug of choice.