Acheleus
Number 1:
Don't Drink!
I was very depressed at 1 year. I was at a point where I was ruled by negative emotions and twisted, obsessive perceptions. I should have seen a dr. When I did, it helped a lot, but I waited too long.
I've been reading your posts a long time, tho not usually commenting. You seem like a good guy. You're smart and talented. Be patient with your recovery. When you find any small ideas that give you solace from pain, collect them and create a safe place for yourself among them.