Originally Posted by
Acheleus 
I am sorry I just have tried to do too much in recovery. Relationship, school, I just think the job stress is mounting. I want to move forward but I feel stuck.
It's not uncommon, Acheleus, for newly sober people to try to do too much at once. Be gentle with yourself. There's no need to apologize to us. Apologize to yourself for pushing yourself to hard and just take a step back now. You will move forward in time. Take things slowly. One step at a time. Recovery is not a race.
I've also learned in recovery how to look at mistakes I make as "lessons" to learn and just do differently next time. I don't beat myself up anymore and I try to learn each time I make a mistake. Sometimes it takes many times of repeating the same mistake, but this is an easier way to live instead of beating myself up.
Stuck how? Well for example my ex gave me an std(it went away. It is not permanent) and I just do not feel connected to women. I feel like I will never be loved or connected again.
I am truly sorry you had that experience. I would suggest you write out inventory on this resentment so you can "forgive" and let it go, to bring you peace and be free of it so you can move forward and not be stuck in it.
Remember fear is not real. It is just made up in the mind from a lack of faith. I'd suggest writing out your fear of never being loved and fear of not connecting to women again via fear inventory and fear prayer.
Or like if I dated again I would have all this baggage from the crazy relationship. I just don't want to feel polluted and damaged any longer. And my ex always came back and I feel like I am stuck.
Once you let this resentment go (I almost typed "justified" but we know that's not what Step 4 is all about, lol....), you will not have any baggage from your crazy relationship. Please be kind to yourself and take the lesson from it. Don't let it sour you. Remember there are spiritually sick people out there still who haven't recovered from the spiritual malady. Pray the sick man's prayer from Step 4.
If your ex is still going to the same meeting you were, maybe you could take a break from that meeting and go to a new one. Remember no new relationships till you're done with the steps, and only with people who are also done with the steps and are spiritually well. Trust your gut, let it guide you.
You're stuck because you have to give yourself the freedom to let go of this resentment.
I am one year sober. I did that and I do not want to drink. I just want to feel normal again. Sorry for being negative
Congratulations on being one year sober!
You WILL feel normal again. Growth is a process. It's progress not perfection. I know you'll feel better once you get passed this resentment. If you want, PM me and I can guide you through how to do it with specific instructions if you don't have a step sponsor. Or I can share it here.
Please don't apologize for being negative. You weren't being negative. You were being HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. Good for you! That's an amazing thing for us alcoholics to be able to do.
You can do this!