Ach: Sorry you are feeling so crummy. That sucks and I know how it feels too...the put downs; people who try to put you down for whatever reason. I had to deal with a co-worker the other day who said something to put me down....and I just thought to myself: "I don't know what her excuse is for talking to me like that, but there is no good excuse for it." I sure didn't feel like turning the other cheek, although that is what some people say you should do."..So, I just told her flat out I didn't like the way she was talking to me and she immediately apologized. I know the reason she talked to me that way, and it's because she is an unhappy, insecure person who was feeling pressured at the time
I try to tell myself that it wasn't about me; it was about her.
And, I have the POWER to overcome it!
Ach: You have the POWER to overcome how you are feeling; to heal from that bad relationship and live a wonderful life. What I am 'hearing' from you is that you feel "powerless" over your CIRCUMSTANCES and I think perhaps the enemy of your soul wants you to buy into that all the way;["all in"] and convince you you have no OPTIONS to make your life better.
You DO have options. You've got to somehow erase that person from your life as she is still bogging you down even though the relationship is over. She still haunts you...
Don't let a past bad relationship RUIN your whole life. You are NOT ruined, so get that notion out of your head. I am glad you will be seeing a Dr....Just know you have lots of support here and there CAN BE healing. Look ahead, not back. Most of us struggle with regret. That's a tough one, but it can be dealt with and we can overcome it. You've been making good progress overall, but bound to have icky days. You don't have to be stuck in "icky mode". Hang in there.