Originally Posted by
andisa 
It's not so much that we use, but why we want to use. I don't suppose I much want to look at why I want to use, I just want to use and not have to think about that. Perhaps that's the aversion to getting help. The addiction is very protective of itself. I'll see if there's any chance of progressing beyond this point. I much appreciate the response you all offered here.
Hi Andisa. That's a great insight: the addiction is indeed very protective of itself. At one time I would have ridiculed the solution I am about to propose, but....you might try praying for the willingness to seek help. It doesn't even have to be addressed to God, or anyone in particular. As Soren Kierkegaard (I think), said: "prayer does not change God, it changes the one who offers it."