cairn

Hi Marissa, I wonder if that might just be a comforting delusion. From observations i am gathering about this odd planet, the 'God entity' doesn't really play favorites that way.

I myself have become heavily alcoholic, to my surprise and chagrin, since i love drinking, but it boomeranged on me and was taking me out of the game. I was astonished to realize that no matter what i threw at it, at times, I was absolutely unable to leave it alone, and once started, just couldn't stop, becoming deranged, soaked in poison and misery.

In despair and surrender one sad day, I gave up the fight, bowed my proud defiant angry self pitying head, and decided to try that stupid God recipe that some AAs had told me about, best i could figure how in my wallowing. No longer would i demand anything. I would resolutely try to discover what they call 'gods will' and do that best i could figure. Very simple concept and wholly open to imagination and interpretation.

Within a few short weeks I started to find myself in an unexpected new zone of existence, full of the incredible, and I suddenly realized that the former impossible urge to drink had slipped away by itself. I have been very skeptical but I threw myself into the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous for further guidance, and despite my former protestations about the whole God idea, it is working exactly as they said it did for them.

I had tried 'prayer' before, but only really in the nature of a pissy lottery ticket type of demand for service and attention, angry customer that i am

I have taken a keen new interest now, in some of the very strange things that God types of people say, since i knew nothing about it, seeming delusional.

There was one guy in the christian game, who made a statement once, to the effect of 'the only miracle i come to bring you is the miracle of jonah'. Provides for interesting meditation. Most religious thought seems to agree that the whole god thing culminates in compassion, freedom of spirit, an uncanny humor and power to live with tremendous satisfaction. I don't know but the willingness to quit my game and try this other one has absolutely taken away my drink dilemma.

I just thought, if you seriously mean business, and aren't too irritated by the concept of a 'god', then you might want to check it out.

It seems us alcoholic types have been abnormally fearful people, oversensitive and overly reactive to life. Though the mental health profession finds a lucrative loyal repeat customer base in us, looking around, I am personally not too impressed with the results they are getting, compared to the very simple ideas AA presents. I am meeting hundreds of drinkers recovering at their meetings. Hundreds.

I am still smoking a hole in my lungs among loads of other problems, but i am becoming so fascinated with this giving up my life routine, that even it hardly seems to worry me. It's really pretty neat.

Check it out! Cheers.