That's what they say, one needs help. I'm really, really having a hard time asking for help. It seems available. I'm not sure if I'm too scared to move, or just unwilling. I have endless excuses, but suspect that's just because I'm unwilling, or unable, to change. Been at this for 29 years now and it's all so ingrained. Acceptance seems unreachable for the blockades in place. Even writing here seems pointless, without willingness, but not writing or doing anything just allows it to continue unabated.