theuncertainty

I really hate to say it, but it's only one that you've found so far. It feels like a big deal because it is. As has been mentioned, it's not normal to hide empty alcohol bottles. And it's a change in already unacceptable behavior: his moving from drinking a lot of light beer to hard alcohol and hiding it to boot. The disconnect is between what you know and how he's trying to spin it.

AXH would switch from beer or rum and coke to vodka when he didn't want me to know he was drinking right then. He very much felt like he could walk around with his bottle of "water" without anyone knowing. The point where he switched to that and hiding the bottles was an escalation - a progression in his addiction.

It's not your fault. Why would it be? HOW could it possibly be? You're not making him drink. You're not causing him to drink by doing or not doing something. He'd drink if you're there. He'd drink if you're not there. He'd drink because you're in a bad mood, but he'd also drink if you were in a good mood. He'd drink because it was a good day at work. He'd drink because it was a bad day at work. The only common factor in the many possible scenarios of why he'd say he's drinking is him. ((((hugs))))