Hi JP,
First of all I'm glad you didn't drink yesterday! Second, I just wanted to say I really relate to your struggle. My husband is a "normal" drinker but he knows how hard I am trying and he came home last night really buzzed and it pissed me off. I gave him a dirty look, walked straight up stairs to my bedroom, slammed the door and started reading & calming myself down.
I had to ask myself why I was quitting? Am I doing it for ME or for him? I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths and really thought about why I am choosing sobriety. My answer was "because every time I drink my life goes to hell and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!" There were many more reasons but you get the idea.
The only thing I can do is ask my husband to support me but I can't make him. I'm trying to be my own best friend right now and build a strong support group through SR, AA and soon IOP & counseling.
I can't tell you how many times I have used HIS drinking as an excuse for MY drinking! I say, "F YOU...I will hurt ME!" It's not worth it anymore.
I used to go get drunk and then come home and say to my husband, "If you would support my sobriety and not drink I wouldn't NEED to drink! It's YOUR fault!"
What a bunch of BS! I was drinking because I'm an alcoholic! Hell...if the wind blew too hard that day I probably would have drank!
Anyway, try to just focus on YOU right now. Can you get to some AA meetings for face to face support? I know for a fact that most people there would totally relate to your circumstance and give great support!
Sending hugs and prayers...