I don't want to seem like a cry baby but posting here offers some relief and every little bit helps, right? I really don't want to go back to drinking. I don't know if I will make it back.
I have not had a drink in 10 years which is an absolute miracle. Two years ago I suffered what I would call a nervous breakdown. I was sober 8 years at the time without any kind of program. I was put on anti depressants and klonopin which I knew nothing about its addictive tendencies, especially for an alcoholic. I took more klonopin than I should have but got off them after a couple months. This was enough time to go through brutal withdrawals when I stopped cold turkey. I also stopped taking the anti depressants.
I was a shattered human being when I made it back into the halls of AA. I was in AA as a young man and had stayed sober a few years but went back out for over 20 years before quitting on my own. I have almost two years of sober recovery in the program now.
Thank you for letting me share. I'm really at the end of my rope and am struggling badly but I am fighting back as hard as possible not to give up.