You know, I have been criticized, picked on and made to feel bad about my appearance my whole entire life. I have zero control over my eyesight. To me it is the same as making fun of someone in a wheelchair, I need glasses to function.
Anyway, it's easy to go "Oh it doesn't matter what other people think" every now and then, but after a life time? I am worn out. it takes a mountain of mental energy and basically delusion to maintain that frame of mind, and it wears a person down to a nub. It wears. you. out. I ran out of that kind of energy after the first 30 years of having to do it.
Done.
Anyway I will maybe take a break here as all that made me feel terrible and ashamed and I can't really function today.