Sounds like you are doing well. Bottom line is that you....and I have seen that taking a drink for us is just plain nonsense. Rationally, that is a fact and we have for now accepted it. Like you say.......don't know about the future. Glad you recognized this early on. Took a few years longer for me. As for continuing to stay sober to take care of folks you love, just remember there are lots of other folks out there that could use your love too and vise-versa. If we look at the wonders of the world, it is well worth staying sober just to love and appreciate our being fortunate enough to have the experience living.