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Old 06-13-2016, 09:30 AM
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tursiops999
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,565
Hi HealthyK.

I have social anxiety as well. One thing I'm learning is that my AV definitely uses that against me -- it used to tell me that there was NO WAY I could possibly get through a party or event unless I was loaded. If I look back on my feelings carefully, I could see that the relief came not from the alcohol itself, but from my decision to drink --- as soon as I knew a drink was on the way, I was OK. Which meant it isn't actually the alcohol that helps -- it's giving in to the AV, which feels like a relief at first.

Once I took alcohol off the table, so that it is just not an option any more, I find I actually have less social anxiety. I have some, but my AV can no longer use it against me -- it can't whip up my social anxiety further just to get me to drink. After the first few minutes of awkwardness at a party, I find I settle into a stage of feeling OK. It just takes practice -- it's only the first few minutes that feel so weird, and I realize that's just my AV.

There are all kinds of practical things that one can try too -- asking other people questions to get them talking about themselves, which they enjoy, takes the pressure off me so I don't feel so awkward.

Once I took alcohol off the table, all sorts of new approaches became available to me.
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