My sobriety date is June 16th. I guess I just have a lot of regrets about the decisions I made in early sobriety. An abusive relationship that I stayed in just became worse and worse. I entered another school immediately after finishing a degree and gaining teaching experience.
Why the hell didn't I just get a teaching job and focus on my own growth?
I really hate where I live. I didn't even plan the school application process I just went at it like I did everything else in my life until I got sober...chaotically.
The ending of the relationship is difficult because I was dependent on that person and I just have no one in my life to help me. No one even said good morning to me at work, but maybe that is because it is Monday.
I just felt better before I got into this relationship and moved and on and on. I don't know what to do but I do know that I am not where I am supposed to be. It just feels wrong. When I was teaching it was difficult to confront my alcoholism but I loved teaching. My ex didn't share any of my interests and we had nothing in common except alcoholism.
I just feel like I ruined my life. "Oh yea, I will marry this person and we will live happily ever after." Yea, right.
She started hanging out with other men, kissing them, drinking, sleeping with them. I got burned and tried to get out and I still went back. I think she wants me to be miserable. I think she is seriously mentally ill and evil. If she came near me I would call the police.
So I'm lost and confused. I don't know who to ask for help at work. I will go ask someone for something to do.