Originally Posted by
zjw 
frickaaflip thats a good point that it could be our addiction talking. i've all my life felt very alone. I think be casue at the end of the day it doesnt really matter who's supporting me or not its going to be up to me to do any of the real hard work for myself in this life. no one can reach inside of me and fix anything Only i can do this and this i a pretty lonely feeling to me at times.
I think what you are describing is pretty common among addicts. A deep sense of emptiness and not 'belonging'. Frankly I think that is common among humans, period. How each person copes with this defines them. Some use substances, some mal-adaptive behaviors. Some learn sooner than others that, yes, it is an inside job. Some never learn and stay stuck in a never ending loop of self pity and neediness. Always feeling broken and empty.
For me this is a spiritual void...and no I'm not talking God. Spirituality to me is connection...to some 'thing' other than myself. I believe that constant self pity is the ultimate in self obsession. The ultimate self centered-ness. My oldest brother is a classic example and its exhausting. He is constantly having some crisis...no one understands...he's alone...he has nothing...he's always obsessing on his physical health. I feel so badly for him but he is unreachable. Completely, stubbornly grounded in feeling sorry for himself. He simply isn't willing to listen or try anything new. Basically, he wants to be miserable. I relate because I have been there. Thankfully I've snapped out of it. But I also know how easily I can slip back into self pity. Completely counter productive. And frankly, who wants to be around someone who is constantly needy? Constantly looking for validation that they have it harder, are entitled? Exhausting. Emotional vampires. Been there. Don't want to be 'that' person anymore
