Originally Posted by
JeffreyAK 
Drinking again would be deadly for me, but not because of the drink, not at all. It would be because of all that would have to happen before the drink, a process that would lead me to completely disregard all the wisdom I've gathered in the past six years, throw it all away, and never seek support before the drink. That process would upend my life, change who I've become, reprogram deeply ingrained parts of my identity. Only then could the drink come, and it would destroy me because of all that went before the drink.
I think you've summed it up very nicely here, Jeffrey. Your experience and wisdom shines through.
I said before how I didn't understand why he needed to drink. That he should have known the answer as he pondered. For me I would consider that one drink failure. Especially considering he's an AA guy. I hope and pray that one drink was his honest to gods last one.