Thanks everyone for actually taking the time to read through all of that. I'm trying really hard to be open on here, and it's not particularly easy for me.
I've been told by several people that I need to find the "root" of my problem, so that's what I tried to do. I understand that the addiction is a separate issue, but I think the underlying problems are my triggers to drink, so trying to sort them out will definitely help make my recovery easier.
What I'm really struggling with is this whole making a plan thing. I can find things to fill some of my days, but my schedule is pretty varying so it's not always easy. Also, I live in a small town, where the only thing to really do is go to the bar. I'm thinking of popping my head into an AA meeting this week to get a feel for it. I'm trying to keep an open mind, and I do plan on attending one, but I just get the feeling it isn't going to be for me. I know that's not a good mindset to walk in with, but everything I've read about it sounds very unappealing to me. And if I have to go listen to someone, anyone, go on about God and higher powers or whatever... I just can't. I'm ridiculous like that.