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Old 06-07-2016, 05:36 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
SolidKarma
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 156
Originally Posted by maz36 View Post
Hey everyone, I'm just looking for some feedback on my current thoughts.
I'm coming to the end of my 3rd day of sobriety. My cravings are fairly strong but manageable.
I have always been an anxious person and began drinking a bottle of wine a night to relax. I had a meticulous routine where I would start at 8.30pm. Drink the bottle of wine whilst chain-smoking 6 cigarettes and watching my television shows. I try to sync it all perfectly so that I my tv shows, 6 cigarettes and wine would all be finished at the same time.
I have always loved alcohol - I first began drinking at 15 on camping trips with friends and it instantly clicked. However I did not start drinking every night of the week until maybe 4 years ago. I stopped briefly but then resumed when I moved to an unfamiliar city alone and was bored, lonely and anxious. That's when the habit settled in. My dad is also a daily wine drinker - he drinks a bottle and a half a night.
However I was thinking - if I was to address my anxiety issues and continue to go my week without alcohol (which I fully intend to do) can I not reset my drinking patterns and drink only two days a week in the future? (With one week a month totally alcohol free to prevent dependence building up?) I just don't feel ready to say goodbye to alcohol COMPLETELY as I really enjoy it....
I think you need to read my post: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-got-me.html

Here is a blurb that I wrote earlier today:

"I feel I wanted to talk about another thing that was fascinating to me. Especially to other newcomers who might come look at these posts.

Some say that alcoholism is progressive, and even when you quit drinking, it stays right where you left it.

Now I had a hard time understanding or believing this. Because physiologically, tolerance to alcohol should go down when you stop drinking. I didn't drink for almost 4 months, and thus I thought when I relapsed 1 beer would mess me up!

Not even close. My tolerance was even HIGHER than the last time I drank! I easily drank 12 beers in a day, and I used to be done with 6.

I couldn't even believe this! I was experiencing first hand the progressive nature of my addiction. In fact, I can't even begin to think how this is possible, phyisologically. Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there."

There is no "resetting" with an alcoholic. If you are one, like myself, then I hope and pray for you that you realize this and develop a desire to QUIT drinking MORE than your 'love for alcohol'.
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