Me too, Hevyn (on the age thing)
Welcome, Aaron. You'll find heaps of like-minded souls here, we all get what it feels like for you currently. Individually, we / you / I have to just take each action, each small step through every day. zjw's ideas are very similar to what I have to do to cope with those tormenting thoughts.
Ultimately, for a while, it's good to simply be able to remind oneself when going to bed at the end of the day: 'hey, I'm sober!' Some days that's the best I can come up with, but guess what? It changes! It isn't always like this, believe us.