Hi Aaron - it's great to meet you.
I'm old enough to be your mother
- but I had the same feelings when I got sober. I'd been drinking for decades & everything seemed so strange without my 'buffer'. Facing reality is essential, as you already realize - and I'm so glad you're doing it at a young age. I agree that it gets better the longer you're sober. We've beaten ourselves up rather badly - we need time to heal. You'll get there.