Yesterday I posted this on one of my other threads figured I should post here as well. Makes just as much sense in this thread. Here I am at over 3 months sober. Its now even clearer that if alcohol is not something I can have in my life I will be able to go on without it and not struggle a lot. I will say that just like the last time I took extensive sober time I have solidified yet again AA is not for me. I have been to meetings. I have spoken and been to readings as well. I have very close family and friends in AA. Unfortunately they may even be the reason for some of the dislike I have for it. I just don't like how it rules their life. But it's how alcohol ruled their life so I definitely understand. Would rather it be AA of course. Alcohol just doesn't run my life that way. So as of now it's not for me. I would never say never to anything though. I do feel like I need to come here and be honest. If anything coming on here has helped me more then any of it. I don't know if I am done. I know I won't drink today. Or tomorrow. But just know myself and that now that I have some sobriety under my belt I may try again. But I don't know. In this time I have had pretty much everyone in my life say "just go ahead and have a drink". My wife, friends, family. All of them. Not the sober people though of course. A lot of sober people tend to act out in similar ways of the drunk people with their mingling. They like the company of other sober people to sit and watch the really drunk people and reassure each other that it's what they are so glad is out of their lives. Or that they never have to deal with. Just like the drunks like to sit and look at each other all loaded and loath the sober people. It's quite an interesting game. The insecurities and projections that go on are very similar to the skinny/fat fit/unfit human reactions. That's not everyone in either community though there are people that are very in touch with them selves and don't act out that way. Matter of fact you can find a lot of them here.
I write this today because I know everyone comes on here to be honest. Dishonesty is counterproductive. And it's nice to look at myself in relation to others in these posts. And also have a detailed time line in my posts. If I come here in 2 months/ a year or even 5 years and I am hungover distraught over my decisions with alcohol I will be able to track my progress and digression. But for today I am sober. And will stay that way. Hope everyone is doing well. And doing what is best for themselves.