I fled from a closed toxic family system. I divorced an abusive alcoholic last year.
My ex MIL is a nutcase. Her entire life has been devoted to gaining power and control over the weaker members of her family. It started off in childhood and her contempt and hatred grew exponentially as she got older. Her mother died last year, such a sweet woman who became utterly destroyed by her daughter. The ex MIL tried to gain control over her two siblings. One allowed her to do so and the other did not. Her SIL's reacted in different ways one fought back and wouldn't allow it until the SIL died and MIL moved in on him. The other SIL suffered a mental breakdown because of MIL's actions and they moved several hours away.
Once MIL mastered destroying her siblings and their families, she moved in onto mine. My XAH has been an alcoholic for years now. I became the bad guy, the scapegoat, disloyal and dishonoring to the family and needed to be expelled in any way that she could get XAH to agree with her. I have a letter from her written to XAH describing in detail the ways that she was going to have me committed into a mental institution because I went against the family and I needed to be destroyed. XAH agreed with her and just about nearly succeeded in doing so. I finally stopped fighting the monsters and fled.
Now it continues on to the next generation. Ex Monster in Law has been trying to turn my children against me for years. They are afraid of her but completely paralyzed by fear to do anything to upset the toxic family dynamic that exists. They are hers to do with as she pleases, and God forbid when they cross her. They are learning how to manipulate, how to protect her, their father, and themselves, to be disrespectful and abusive to me because that is what their father allowed them to do and she greatly encouraged it. If she could get them to turn on me then she won and got the kids all to herself. XAH is still too sick to see what she has done to him and to his family.
As much as I wish to have grandchildren someday, I do pray that the boys will not marry and have children. I broke the link but the evil lineage must end. I don't want any DiL's or grandchildren to suffer at ex MIL's hand, as surely they will. They will be banished and expelled if they don't acquiesce to her demands.
Sue