Any users angry at their enablers?
I am very, very angry at mine. My enabler being my bf. I am going to try and express myself clearly and in order though I admit my sadness right now is rather confusing things.
In 2 1/2 weeks I will be 6 months free of all alcohol and benzos. I have recently been very, very tempted to use benzos after many health issues of a female nature and scary tests, and waiting... and more tests... and waiting. The anxiety is insurmountable. I have gone through all of it alone. I have nobody to talk to IRL and zero family. My bf is seemingly incapable of any kind of normal human reaction to this such as maybe a small word of comfort or two. It has been hellish.
But I digress. So. BF was my enabler in drinking. I mean he ran out to get the stuff and everything. I can only see this as a very selfish action- it was easier to help me drink than it was to help keep me sober. I mean he never gave one single word of acknowledgement or support the whole time I actually tackled the business of quitting drinking and benzos. No small feat. But never, not once, mentioned by him. Not one single word. I am not asking for a parade just simple acknowledgement from the person I am sharing my life with. I would have done so. I am supportive in all he does. Including his family which is very hard for me as I have none of my own. Even though it terrifies me to do so as my own family history is rife with abuse. Sometimes I cry in the bathroom after we visit his folks because it hurts so much to see all the love he gets and how they just adore him. Against the cruelty and indifference that I was made to suffer from my own family.
Anyway... so, I really am mad not only that he never has one single thing to say about my hard earned sobriety but that he helped me drink. I mean if he really actually gave a damn he surely would have said something instead of helping me to stay drunk at the expense of my health? It was lazy and selfish of him. It makes me think he does not truly care about me at all.
Does anyone else feel upset/angry at their enabler?