Hi Ericar .
AA states that alcoholism is a mental obsession coupled with a psychical compulsion , Einstein says ''insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results '' the obsession has to be smashed and the ''illusion that somehow someday we will be able to drink in safety also has to be smashed '' and Ego has to be deflated at depth , these are symptoms of chronic alcoholism . Your husband it appears seems to consider alcohol as his ''solution '' his go to place when things start to get to him, and it has became ''his comforter '' and unfortunately it has become a way of life a habit often repeated . In my own case I had ''to hit bottom '' a mental gutter where ''that is it enough is enough I Cannot do this anymore '' that is where your husband has got to reach '' and how when and where is hard to say , sadly maybe never , but as you say ''you cannot go on like this '' its also much better if you do not become ''an enabler '' because your husband will seize every opportunity going ''and turn it into a reason/excuse to drink , keep in touch and let us know how ''you are doing '' .
Regards Stevie