I just talked to him and tried to be really honest. I didn't make any ultimatums or threats as I am not prepared to carry them out. I just told him that I can't keep living this way and I'm at my wit's end.
He said he knows I am and he's sorry. He said that even though I can't see it, he does want to stop drinking, or else he'd be like the people who just keep drinking every day once they get out of the hospital until they die. I said what difference is it when he is just slowly doing the same thing and prolonging his suffering and dragging out what I think (and he agrees) could be just a slower death. And what difference does it make if he wants to stop drinking if he can't consistently stop, especially during the times that I/we need him the most? He said he guess it doesn't make any difference.
He said he will go to a SMART recovery meeting with me. This is something I've sought out as an alternative to AA/Al-anon but he was reluctant to go to any meetings in general. He told me he would rather kill himself than go to meetings every day. I told him these meetings are not every day and it seems like he would rather kill himself than stop drinking because it's all the same thing.
I honestly don't know if these meetings are any good or if he/anyone needs meetings to stop drinking. I know he needs SOME plan of action but it also needs to come from within him but I was just trying to give suggestions as I really don't know what he should do when he wants to stop drinking but can't stay stopped.
I guess I should feel like a victory has been accomplished in that he has agreed to go somewhere/do something but I am still skeptical and to me the biggest "victory" was just telling him how I feel. I am not sure what if anything he is going to do to change things but I know that I will have to do something to change things for myself and this is my start.