Afraid to go to sleep anymore.
I have panic disorder with PTSD diagnosed. I am so afraid to go to sleep without the use of medications. The old me would drink to sleep. However, now I wake up with panic every night from nightmares or I wake up thinking about all the horrible things I have said or done in the past.
Sometimes, I will wake up and have such awful guilt I just can't sleep at all. It's like someone punching me in the stomach. It's so real and painful. How does anyone cope with this? I even went and took a benzo the other day just to get an hour of sleep. It was expired since I hate these drugs and am trying to remain clean.
Is anyone else struggling with horrible nights? Just thinking about going to bed tonight and having to wake up in a panic has me scared. Tea is all I am using now but it just doesn't work. I have so much guilt and remorse and I can't even pinpoint the cause. Help?