Thank you for the dialogue in this thread! It's good to know I'm not alone. I realized yesterday as I was at the lake with my family, cook out, had to come home and mow and just a BUSY day that when dark approached, I wanted to drink badly. I did not just want a drink. I wanted a bottle. Had it not been for this thread and all of the input in it I probably would have. ICDB's AV thread also helped ALOT. I guess I knew, but never really noticed that these urges really are like waves. I have to ride that wave out and eventually calm will come. Today I am glad that I woke up with a clear head and a big day ahead of me that I can face without a hangover.
I also know that these waves will come today as well. Probably pretty strong. My day is going to consist of mowing, yard work, cleaning the house, laundry and just work. In the past I would always have a bottle to accompany me with these tasks.
It can be frustrating that I have a tool belt full of arsenal. But once those waves hit, my tool belt comes off. This thread helped me realize that I need to KNOW the waves ARE and WILL come this early on. I need to learn to surf them and not dive into them. If you notice a few threads back of mine this very thing happened. So thank you!
I woke up the day of my last relapse (a few weeks ago) all la tee daa - just a normal day with NO drinking planned whatsoever and this wave came out of nowhere. That's all she wrote. Day 1. Probably something that I should have realized before. But for whatever reason I did not see this pattern. Now I do - so thanks!