Hi Aithyne, I'm sorry you're going through this. I am an ACOA too, and also a recovering alcoholic. I'm glad you brought up sounding strange about also being alcoholic because I feel like that too.
A word usually used to describe an opinion like the one your husband expressed is called denial. People close to us may not quite understand the significance of our experience with our addicted caretakers--not at first anyway. And that's okay. Our loved ones may believe that they know what we need or don't need, and they may have the best intentions but it's really up to us to determine our needs.
It's highly unlikely that he told you everything you need to know to heal and improve your life in one evening. Healing can't be transacted overnight; it's a process and there's a learning curve and for many it involves working a program over time. Other people who are going through it or who have been through it can help us heal, but it might take time for our loved ones to catch up.
There's a well-known book called Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics that helped me. I think I may have started with that and then I started attending ACOA meetings.
And...congrats on your sobriety!!
