Hopelessness
Once again I am drunk, after having just short of 2 months sobriety. It's not been as heavy as my past relapses, but i've only been drinking one night so far and had around 10 beers. I feel like I'm losing my mind though, I keep trying and after only a couple of months something comes over me and I give in so easily. I thought I was on the right track this time and rarely thought of alcohol... but when the thought comes up out of the blue it takes me with it. In the last year I've lost more jobs, I was resuscitated in hospital after passing out and choking on my sick and my lung collapsed, I lost my license, been locked up for drunk and disordely also and there is much more.... but I just drink anyway...
I'm really losing hope, I'm runnung out of ideas, I had been attending AA but in the end I still can't seem to stay sober.
I read somewhere if you can't get it on your first few tries then you have little hope. Really any suggestions or advise would be appreciated. Please be hard and tell me the truth, I feel like I need to wake up to reality.