Yep. Sounds pretty normal (for an alcoholic). Fear and resentment pretty much dictated to me up til when I worked the 12-steps. And they still can if I don't work my program. I felt like it was all pretty hopeless for a while, because I couldn't seem to help how I reacted to life, and those two jokers, Fear and Resentment were like my inner Laurel and Hardy making me behave alternately like a victim and then like a pompous ass, fill of grandiocity. Half the time I felt like I was scared of people, and even the (many) people who I hated left me worried that they might not like me. What kind of nutter worries whether someone they hate or dislike dislikes them?!! (An alcoholic one I suppose).
So, the good news is that it can get better. But if you're like me, that will only happen if you work on your recovery, and stay mindful of the pitfalls and alcoholic perspective chiming in.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery.