Receiving a medical diagnosis( I have a post in the secular connection), threw me a little, well more than a little.
Waiting to go home after the appointment , I ended up in a place where I had spent time after my daughter's birth ,over twenty years ago, drinking "excusably", meaning I wasn't trying to quit then and given what we were dealing with at the time , it wasn't outwardly problematic.
It's a tavern and as soon as I opened the door I was looking at bartender pouring a row of whiskey shots and I started to seriously consider all the crap the AV was throwing at me.
Ending up having a great lunch outside. Was maybe not shocked that the nearly silent AV came roaring back, but a little scared how convincing and strong the pull can be even if just for a moment or two. Something to keep in mind , the self pity aspect "look how terrible this is, no one would even blame you, just this once today " ect. For a moment or two the No Matter What voice gets a lot quieter and harder to 'hear', so yeah whether it's a consequence of early sobriety or perhaps more likely 'anytime' sobriety, it can be tough to get through.