I had a nice, quiet day today. I rested a bit, watched my younger son's lax game, prepared food for the week, and read.
Back when I was active in my addiction I had the misconception that life was supposed to be exciting and that on quiet days I must be doing something wrong. I had major fear of missing out; it still pops up from time to time.
Haha, in fact today I didn't know many of the parents at the lax game. I felt kind of insecure, like I was doing something wrong for NOT knowing them, and started to find them annoying.
I didn't practice my new redirection technique to think of 3 things In grateful for every time I feel resentful or annoyed. Later I did and eventually the clarity emerged that I wasn't mad at them; I was insecure that I felt left out.
In recovery I'm grateful to have the opportunity to press the restart button any time my thinking gets too toxic.