You're not sure if he's technically abusive. Someone who breaks your fingers ON PURPOSE, requiring surgery and screws is abusive. I'm sure it's very hard to leave, but, take care of yourself. And, aside from the physical abuse, there is also emotional abuse which is equally as damaging. Do yourself a favor and get away from this man to give yourself some breathing space. . It doesn't matter whether or not you call yourself an alcoholic. Alcohol is causing problems in your life and things will be better if you stop drinking. If you get away, stop drinking, maybe you can find a way to get closer to your son which sounds like something you'd like to do. I wish you well and I pray that you take steps to care for yourself.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Abuse Defined The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support (US)
International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies
Canada:
Home « HotPeachPages International Canada: domestic violence information « HotPeachPages International
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers