I spent 90 days in treatment - and relapsed when I was free. Part of my relapse was because when i got out of treatment it still felt like my family didn't want me. I don't have a spouse or a job and it felt like my family didnt want me - what was the point of being sober?
Well, my family caught me in the relapse and said if i wanted a relationship with them i needed to go to detox. so i went and checked myself in as a gesture...i had absolutely no alcohol withdrawal so my being there was purely symbolic.
they came and picked me up from the detox and I've been home for a couple weeks. still sober. they said if i relapsed again i would get sent to a 90 day rehab again. so i am not drinking and going to AA but am having trouble just because my life seems so depressing at 30: no money, no job, no romantic prospects, living with parents, etc. i caused so much damage drinking that the things i want, and happiness, seem so far out of reach.
i know drinking isn't an option now unless i want to go back to rehab or be homeless with no family. so I'm sober, but i want to want to recover for myself - not because i am backed into a corner. does that make any sense?
