my last drunk was really no different than hundreds before, i got drunk,blacked out, passed out.
the next morning, for some reason was, and i dont want to forget it. being told some of the things i had done and said by my ( by that time ex) fiance while in that blackout then telling me," get the f*** out!!" had 4 things hit me- the 4 horsemen of Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair. i had never felt as low as i did at that time.
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.
it was then i gave myself 2 choices-aa or suicide.
today i can say im very greatful for that drunk. it led me to the solution and gave me the willingness to get into action.