My last drunk was 28 days ago. I bought beer to a coworkers house for a small gathering. The whole way there I was feeling the conflicting anxiety I've felt before - I was only going to have a couple, and yet another voice in my head was warning me of the impending doom. A few beers turned into wine and my memory is spotty for the rest of the night - but I know I was acting out of control, my coworker was flirtatious with me, and I was flirtatious with another person there. I was told I attempted to drive home, and my friends put me into an uber with my keys. I left my keys in the uber and got locked out of my home. I spent a miserable 45 minutes or so trying to break in and ended up calling a second uber to go back to my friends, crashed on the couch, and had to have a locksmith let me inside my house the next morning. I was able to be reunited with my keys later in the day thankfully. I was hungover for 3 days, was totally ashamed of my behavior, and wasted a gorgeous weekend inside recovering from the mess. I did not leave my house and barely got out of bed for 2 entire days. I bailed on plans I had with a friend to go to a show later that weekend, plans I had been looking forward to for months, because I was too down and depressed to leave the house and to pretend like I was ok at a concert. All in all it was a very expensive endeavor in many aspects.
In some ways it's remarkable and some ways it's not - it wasn't the worst drunk I've had in terms of consequences, and it could have been much worse, but it got me to call AA and to go to a meeting that following Monday. I now have a sponsor and I'm working the steps and I'm so grateful to never have to feel that way ever again.