Hello everyone,
First I wanted to give a gigantic thank you to SR, especially the 'old timers' who have sobriety time, and keep coming back here to pay it forward. This is the most amazing forum I have ever been a part of. I greatly appreciate the positivity, gentleness, acceptance, compassion, and lack of negativity. The longer I am a part of SR I realize how much work the moderators have to put towards the forum in order to keep it that way. Thank you a million times.
For me? Today is day 84 without alcohol! Although I am not where I want to be in life, I’m proud that I’m making progress. After my last close call, I’ve been really approaching things differently. Here are some things that have been working for me:
- The most important thing is to remember why. Why I can’t drink. I hear stories all the time (especially here) about people questioning this, and thinking they can drink regularly. And I can totally relate, because I experience the same impulses that causes such thoughts to arise. For me, it’s being far removed from my ‘alcoholic’ self, and because I personally never ‘hit rock bottom’ (whatever that is) I don’t have anything weighing on me in regards to my drinking habits. What I mean is, I didn’t lose my job/wife/car/house etc., I didn’t get a DUI, and had only subtle physiological and cognitive side effects as a result of my abuse. Thus now that I have a little time away from the drink, it’s much easier to simply remember the good parts, see others drinking with impunity and wonder why I can’t do that. I’ve found that I frequently need to think about WHY I can’t drink, and understand where it will definitely lead if I start.
On this note I wanted to add a little more. It’s actually quite easy to understand WHY I can’t drink, and I’m wondering if others are similar. When I crave alcohol, I don’t crave a sip, a few drinks. I crave getting %^(&#%@! up! I know I don’t even desire a few drinks, I want to get drunk!
- The most important thing (see what I did there) is to have a plan that specifically addresses two parts of recovery. The first part that the plan should address is how you are going to change your life. Quitting drugs and alcohol is quite easy, staying quit is what’s difficult. It takes drastic changes. I’m not just talking about making beds and eating healthy (although these are great things and I need to start making my bed). I mean doing some deep soul searching, introspection, and developing habits that cultivate your best character. This, as it turns out, becomes a lifelong journey. To quit alcohol, you have to fill your life with other fulfilling experiences and learn to be your highest self, otherwise it’s just so tempting to go back to the padded lifestyle that alcohol supports. The second thing the plan should address is how you are going to deal with the alcoholic self which is still deep-rooted inside of you, waiting for the right moment to creep back up and try to take control. How are you going to handle cravings when they hit? Stuff like this.
I don’t mean to say all this and mean that in 84 days I’ve changed my life. No way. But I’m really happy to say that I’m aware of the things that I can and should change, and am working on those. I also am learning to accept the things I can’t change and embrace them.
I’m still on the journey…thank you forces of the universe!