I like the control idea too that some have mentioned
for me with my stepfather itwas like yeah i'm not gonna let you control me!! for me it was a respect thing however. i felt he had 0 respect ofr me and clearly with the abuse he didnt so i was not about to give him what he wanted (follow his orders) that woulda been handing over control to him and validating his abusive tactics as effective. I wasnt gonna play that. It was a battle of the wills whos gonna change first. I was hard headed and stubborn. I never changed neither did he it was a miserable expierince for us both.